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Funny

It is reported that dance band leader Leo Reisman has conducted a survey which reveals that the average couple, during a night out dancing, covers a distance of ten miles. His conclusion was reached by attaching pedometers to the feet of dancers at The Central Park Casino in New York City, USA.
UK pop weekly Record Mirror reveals that guitarist Peter Green, formerly of John Mayall's Bluesbreakers, has formed a new group called Fleetwood Wing. Close, but no coconut. The group is, of course, Fleetwood Mac.
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Moby Grape record Just Like Gene Autry : A Foxtrot, in New York City, USA, for their Columbia Records album Wow! When the track, a 1930s jazz pastiche, appears on the album, it is recorded at 78rpm, and thus requires listeners to change the speed setting on their record players from 33.3rpm to 78rpm in order to hear it at the correct speed.
On UK radio show Desert Island Discs, Louis Armstrong chooses five of his own records to accompany him on his (imaginary) desert island and, as a book, selects his own autobiography.
The Isle Of Wight Festival begins at Wootton, Isle Of Wight, UK. Bob Dylan and The Band are rehearsing at Forelands Farm, Bembridge, Isle of Wight, UK. Over the next three days there will be appearances by Bob Dylan, The Who, The Band, The Nice, Richie Havens, The Moody Blues, Free, Joe Cocker, Fat Mattress, The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, Family, The Pretty Things, Marsha Hunt, Battered Ornaments, Aynsley Dunbar, Blodwyn Pig, King Crimson and The Edgar Broughton Band.
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Led Zeppelin play the second of three nights at Winterland, San Francisco, California, USA, supported by the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band.
The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band plays at Sheffield University, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK.
The group playing as The Nobs tonight in the KB Hallen, Copenhagen, Denmark, Europe, is actually Led Zeppelin. The name change is necessary to avoid legal action by Frau Eva Von Zeppelin who objects to "four shrieking monkeys abusing my family name."
Elton John, dressed as a gorilla, invades the stage during an Iggy Pop performance at Richards Nightclub, Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
Jerry Lee Lewis, brandishing a Derringer pistol, drives to Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee, USA, and demands that Elvis Presley should come out to speak with him. Elvis declines. Jerry Lee goes home.
1000 regular patrons of Friar's Club, Aylesbury Buckinghamshire, England, UK, Europe, present a petition to the owners asking them never to allow bands like The Sex Pistols to play in the venue.
Jazz musician Joe Silmon comes to the end of playing his flute non-stop for 48 hours under water aboard the British submarine HMS Grampus at Gosport, UK. This feat earns him an entry in the Guinness Book Of World Records.
When Black Sabbath play at Anaheim Stadium, Anaheim, California, USA, support band Van Halen is seen to parachute down to the venue from a plane flying overhead. It is, however, a publicity gimmick using stunt men instead of the band. Also on the bill are Richie Lecea, Sammy Hagar and Boston.
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After nine days in a Japanese jail, Paul McCartney returns to London, England, UK, Europe, vowing, "I'll never smoke marijuana again."
The Passions play at The Marquee club, Soho, London, England, UK, Europe, supported by a band calling itself The Cult Heroes. In reality, the Cult Heroes are The Cure, augmented by guitarist Porl Thompson, two schoolgirls and Horley postman Frankie Bell.
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London-based Stiff Records is fined £50 for publicly displaying and selling a promotional t-shirt bearing the incontrovertibly true slogan, "If it ain't Stiff, it ain't worth a fuck."
In the middle of their Reconstruction tour, at Barrymore's Club, Ottawa, Canada, a somewhat the worse for drink R.E.M. abandon their planned set and play an unscheduled evening of impromptu cover versions.
The Halleymites release a new single, We Are The Halleymites, on Red Bus Records in the UK. The single includes a free book and cassette by astronomer Patrick Moore, entitled The Story Of Halley's Comet. According to the record company PR-flak, Halleymites are "happy-go-lucky creatures which inhabit the comet and have never known trouble and coflict." The track was produced by Billy Lawrie, brother of pop singer Lulu so, in all likelihood, The Halleymites was a manufactured studio-only band created especially to cash in on the imminent 1986 arrival of Halley's Comet.
Elton John attends the 3rd Test Match in Sydney, Australia, Oceania, and is so delighted when the English cricketers defeat Australia that he pours champagne all over himself in celebration.
A Motley Crue tour of the UK, due to start today at the Playhouse, Edinburgh, Scotland, is cancelled after it is made public that the musician touring with them under the name of Nikki Sixx is not actually the real Nikki Sixx.
Kurt Cobain, later to lead Nirvana, sends a tape of demos he had recorded the previous day to a number of record labels in the USA. None of them will even reply.
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In Zales Jewellers, in a Simi Valley, California, USA, shopping mall, Michael Jackson is detained by security guard H.N.Edwards, for "looking suspicious" - he is wearing a wig, false moustache and fake teeth. Later, Jackson signs autographs for the guard and his comrades.
During a press conference in Los Angeles, California, USA, Paul McCartney suggests that the surviving three members of The Beatles should re-unite, but he is quickly rebuffed by George Harrison who states that, "there won’t be a Beatles reunion as long as John Lennon remains dead."
Manufactured pop duo Milli Vanilli are named Best New Artist at the 32nd Annual Grammy Awards. The award is later revoked.
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When Sinead O'Connor visits Mrs Gooch's Natural Food Store in Beverly Hills, California, USA, one of Mrs Gooch's patriotic employees, Mike Reichtien, sings the US national anthem to her, in protest against her earlier refusal to perform a concert if the anthem was played.
For the first time in four and a half years, an entire month has passed without any record produced or written by Stock Aitken And Waterman appearing in the UK charts.
Chubby Checker files a lawsuit against McDonald's in Canada seeking $14m and alleging that the burger chain had used an imitation of his voice when his hit single The Twist had been used on a tv commercial. (This is a particularly intriguing allegation, given that Chubby's own version of the song was a barely concealed impersonation of the original by Hank Ballard.)
When Nirvana play at Reading Festival, Reading, UK, Kurt Cobain provides the highlight of the day when he takes to the stage in a wheelchair, wearing a white dress and a ladies wig.
At the Industria Superstudio, Manhattan, New York City, USA, Madonna holds a party for 800 of her very closest friends, to celebrate the release of her upcoming album and book, Sex. She arrives dressed as Little Bo Peep, carrying a lamb.
Angus and Malcolm Young of AC/DC visit the municipality of Leganés, near Madrid in Spain, Europe, where Mayor Jose Perez Raiz honours the band by naming a street after them - Calle De AC/DC, which translates to AC/DC Street.
Corporation Lane in Central Melbourne, Australia, Oceania, is officially renamed AC/DC Lane in honour of the band. However, because the City of Melbourne forbids the use of the slash character in street names, the four letters are combined and a lightning flash is added to the outside of the street sign.
Oscar Wilde – The Musical, at The Shaw Theatre, London, England, UK, Europe, written by UK radio deejay Mike Read, closes after just one performance (the previous night), making it the fastest closing musical in the history of London's West End.
The second day of a three day long Bruce Springsteen Symposium takes place at Monmouth University, West Long Branch, New Jersey, USA. The event includes over 150 academic papers including 'A Marxist perspective On Darkness On the Edge Of Town' and 'The Boss And The Bible'.
When a mere 45 fans turn up for a Bob Geldof gig at the 12,000 seater Civic Arena, Milan, Italy, Europe, Sir Bob refuses to go on stage and cancels the remaining dates on his Italian tour.
A total of 5,567 people, led by Monty Python stars Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam and the cast of the Monty Python musical Spamalot, gather in Trafalgar Square, London, England, UK, Europe, set a new Guinness World Record for the world's largest coconut orchestra.
It is announced that a souvenir-hunting thief has stolen the glasses from the statue of John Lennon at the airport named after him in Liverpool, England, UK, Europe.
When Britney Spears plays at the MEN Arena in Manchester, England, UK, she angers the crowd by shouting out, "What's up, London?" when she hits the stage.
It is reported that German spider specialist Peter Jäger has named a newly-discovered hairy, yellow giant Malaysian spider Heteropoda davidbowie, in honour of rock star David Bowie. (One of Bowie's best-known albums was entitled The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars.)
The Kings Of Leon abandon a live show at The Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, St. Louis, Missouri, USA, when a flock of pigeons persistently bombards the band with bird-droppings.
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Kanye West, formerly an outspoken critic of Twitter, finally opens his own Twitter account and immediately gains over 150,000 followers.
British musician Sam Duckworth, aka Get Cape.Wear Cape. Fly., puts himself up for auction on Ebay. Bidders can win a private acoustic show in their home, and all money raised goes to Oxfam's Pakistan Flood Appeal.
The Abbey Road zebra crossing in North London, England, UK, Europe, made famous by a photograph taken for the cover of The Beatles' album Abbey Road, is given a Grade II listed status by by John Penrose, Minister for Tourism and Heritage, protecting it from future development.
On The Apocalypse Tour, Weird Al Yankovic plays at The Fox Theatre, Oakland, California, USA.
When Katy Perry signs her divorce papers from comedian/actor Russell Brand in Los Angeles, California, USA, she adds a 'smiley' face after her signature.
Brent May, drummer of American indie band Howler denies recent rumours that he is the illegitimate son of Prince, commenting that if he was, he would be 'claiming all the child support and probably not in Howler.'.
Following a CNN iReport stating that Australian singer Gotye had 'shot himself in the head with a 9mm handgun', the artist denies his death in a Twitter post.
Country singer Randy Travis is arrested after being found naked beside his Pontiac Trans Am which has crashed on a road near Tioga, Texas, USA. Travis is charged with driving while intoxicated and threatening law officers.
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During his unexpected rap among the audience of the BAFTA Awards in London, England, UK, Europe, rapper Tinie Tempah high-fives Prince William, future king of Great Britain.
Rob "The Marquis" Messel wins the 2019 Air Guitar World Championship in Oulu, Finland, Europe. Australia´s Alex "Jinja Assassin" Roberts takes second place, and Frenchman Frederic "French Kiss" Reau comes in third.

Air Guitar World Championships Results:

1 Rob Messel – The Marquis (USA) 34.7

2 Alexander Roberts – Jinja Assassin (AUS) 34.3

3 Frederic Reau – French Kiss (FRA) 33.4

4 Nanami Nagura- Seven Seas (JPN) 33

4 Will Herndon – The WizAIRd of Rockenroll (USA) 33

6 Steinþór Hróar Steinþórsson – Rock Thor Jr. (ISL) 32.7

6 Patrick Culek – Ehrwolf (GER) 32.7

8 Zachary Knowles – Ichabod Fame (CAN) 32.4

9 Shota Monden – SHOW-SHOW (JPN) 32.2

9 Keisuke Nagatsuka – Keisuke the Entertainer (JPN) 32.2

1930
2019