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Funny

The Oriental Burlesquers, featuring "Champion Lady Bag Puncher" Belle Gordon, play at Kernan's Theatre, Washington, DC, USA.
In UK pop newspaper the NME [New Musical Express], Geoffrey Everitt reviews Elvis Presley's Heartbreak Hotel with the words "... if you appreciate good singing, I don't suppose you'll manage to hear this all the way through."
During his Sink Or Swim With Swingin' Slim radio show on WBNX Radio in New York City, USA, deejay Irving 'Slim' Rose offers a cash reward for the first listener to bring him a copy of the song Stormy Weather by The Five Sharps, which he loves but has broken his copy. The request will create so much interest that Jubilee Records will eventually re-record the song with a different group [still using the name The Five Sharps] and release it in 1964.
Former President of the USA, Dwight Eisenhower tells a press conference that, "I have no objection to The Twist as such, but it does represent some kind of change in our standards."
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Comedy singer Allan Sherman has lunch with US President Lyndon Johnson. When the president asks about the menu, the corpulent comic jokingly replies that he is on a diet, and can only have iced tea with no sugar.
The Rolling Stones play the second of two days at The Teen Fair, Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas, USA. Also on the bill are George Jones and Bobby Vee. The Stones are, reportedly, booed off stage and a troupe of performing Monkeys who had been on before the Stones are brought back on stage for another performance.
Viewers of the UK tv show Ready, Steady, Go! are treated to an impersonation of Sonny And Cher executed by presenter Cathy McGowan with The Rolling Stones and their manager Andrew Loog Oldham.
Bob Dylan is backed on a live gig by Levon And The Hawks for the first time at the Municipal Auditorium in Austin, Texas, USA. When questioned about God during a press conference before the gig Dylan retorts, "God is a woman ... you take it from there."
Cliff Richard tells UK music weekly newspaper the NME that he is retiring from pop music in order to teach religious instruction in secondary schools.
When popular trumpet player Al Hirt keeps the audience waiting for him to appear at Penn Theatre in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA, a search begins and Hirt is discovered sound asleep in his hotel bedroom. The show begins an hour and a half late.
The Who play at Sheffield University, Sheffield, England, UK, Europe, supported by The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band.
While performing live on stage in The Ice House Hockey Arena, London, Ontario, Canada, Johnny Cash proposes to his girlfriend, June Carter. She accepts.
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Iron Butterfly's psychedelic classic In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, produced by Shadow Morton, enters Billboard's Hot 100 chart in the USA at 117. (The song was originally entitled In The Garden Of Eden, but singer Doug Ingle was so drunk when he told the lyric to drummer Ron Bushy that Bushy wrote the words down incorrectly.)
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Spirit play at the Lyceum Ballroom, London, supported by Joe Cocker and the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin attends the show and receives head and face injuries when his Jaguar is involved in a crash on the way home.
Elvis Presley is at home in Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee, USA, entertaining Captain Jerry Kennedy of the Denver police force, and Ron Pietrafeso, head of Colorado's Strike Force Against Crime, in the jungle room. During the evening, Elvis decides to fly to Denver to buy a sandwich.
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Elton John performs live at a party in Windsor Castle, Windsor, England, UK, Europe, to celebrate the 21st birthday of Prince Andrew. [The prince actually turned 21 several months earlier, but the party was delayed]. In the course of the evening, Elton dances with the Queen to the strains of Rock Around The Clock by Bill Haley And The Comets.
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In Atlanta, Georgia, Adam Ant is about to dive into his onstage pool when he realises it is full of goldfish, placed there by support band The Romantics as a prank.
Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue fires a huge rocket from his backyard in Los Angeles, California, USA. It sets fire to a 40 foot palm tree which then falls onto his 1965 Mustang convertible, setting it ablaze.
King Kurt play in The Hacienda Club, Manchester, England, UK, Europe. It is later reported that a woman in the audience broke a leg but didn't notice until after the show was over.
While on tour in Italy, Europe, Bruce Springsteen meets a group of street musicians in the Piazza Di Spagna, Rome, and joins the group on acoustic guitar to perform I’m On Fire and The River for an audience of passers-by.
John Fogerty, former leader of Creedence Clearwater Revival, wins his self-plagiarism court battle with Fantasy Records. The label claimed Fogerty copied his own song, Run Through The Jungle when he wrote The Old Man Down The Road
Comedy rocker Weird Al Yankovic begins recording tracks for his album Off The Deep End in the USA. The album cover is a parody of the underwater baby shot on the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind, with Yankovic pursuing a doughnut replacing the baby pursuing a dollar bill.
It is announced that The Southland Corporation, owner of the 7-Eleven and Hoagy's Corner Delis store chains, has introduced a policy of trying to chase away undesirables - i.e. teenagers hanging out in their store parking lots - by loudly playing music by easy-listening artists including Mantovani from loudspeakers outside the stores.
For the first time in four and a half years, an entire month has passed without any record produced or written by Stock Aitken And Waterman appearing in the UK charts.
Wearing only his underpants, Sean McDonough of British indie band Thousand Yard Stare is handcuffed to a tree by the band's tour manager, in Norwich, England, UK, Europe.
Despite having split up a decade earlier, Abba is revealed to have been the Best-Selling Swedish Artist of the Year at the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo.
"Papa's got a brand new bridge!" declares the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, at the opening ceremony of the newly constructed James Brown Soul Centre Of The Universe Bridge in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, USA.
As a mark of respect for recently deceased Grateful Dead guitarist Jerry Garcia, Ben And Jerry's Ice Cream begins selling its popular flavour, Cherry Garcia, with only black cherries in it.
B.B. King plays Merry Christmas Baby for an audience including Pope John Paul II and sundry assembled cardinals during a concert at The Vatican, Rome, Italy, Europe. Before the show King was granted an audience with The Pope, during which he gave one of his treasured 'Lucille' guitars to the pontiff.
UK tabloid The Sunday People claims that Lemmy of Motorhead indulged in a three-day-long sex and bondage session during which his lover was handcuffed to the bed. When Lemmy objects, pointing out that the session lasted seven days and his lover was suspended from the ceiling, the newspaper apologises unreservedly.
Ozzy Osbourne issues a statement asking that his band Black Sabbath should be removed from the nominations for the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame because the nomination is made by "the supposed elite of the industry" rather than by music fans.
Tommy Chong of hippy comedy duo Cheech and Chong appears on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on tv in the USA to explain how his California-based company was tricked into selling bongs and marijuana pipes via the internet to Drug Enforcement Agency staff in Pennsylvania and then arrested. [The same equipment can be bought legally on the street but it is illegal to ship it across state borders in the USA.] Chong was sentenced to nine months in jail and fined $20,000.
Britney Spears is photographed in public wearing a t-shirt bearing the slogan MILF In Training. In recent days she has also been seen out and about wearing such slogans as I'm A Virgin (but this is an old t-shirt), How Could I Say No? and Shut Up And Do Me. Speculation mounts about why she has chosen to present such messages to the watching world.
Ozzy Osbourne appears, with his mouth gagged, in an advertisement for a British television charity event, Children In Need. His wife Sharon promises viewers that Ozzy will raise funds by abstaining from swearing for twenty four hours.
Corporation Lane in Central Melbourne, Australia, Oceania, is officially renamed AC/DC Lane in honour of the band. However, because the City of Melbourne forbids the use of the slash character in street names, the four letters are combined and a lightning flash is added to the outside of the street sign.
Boy George phones the police in New York City, USA, to report a burglary on his apartment. During their investigations, the officers find cocaine lying next to a computer. Boy George is arrested.
At a marathon fund-raising event [for the Red Cross hurricane-relief fund] in The Boat, a nightclub in Kensington Market, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, a relay of DJs play just one song, Ace Of Spades by Motorhead continuously for six hours, notching up a total of 128 consecutive plays of the same track.
When a mere 45 fans turn up for a Bob Geldof gig at the 12,000 seater Civic Arena, Milan, Italy, Europe, Sir Bob refuses to go on stage and cancels the remaining dates on his Italian tour.
Paul Heaton comes to the end of a 16-date UK tour by bicycle, under the banner of the Pedals And Beer Pumps Tour, at The Southern, Chorlton, Greater Manchester, England, UK, Europe.
While driving his dog Spartacus to the vet for knee surgery, rapper Ice-T is stopped and arrested by police near West 40th Street and 11th Avenue, New York City, USA, for a traffic violation.
British musician Sam Duckworth, aka Get Cape.Wear Cape. Fly., puts himself up for auction on Ebay. Bidders can win a private acoustic show in their home, and all money raised goes to Oxfam's Pakistan Flood Appeal.
Lindy Butcher, 39, slips on vomit in The Loft Bar at a Whitesnake gig in the Liesure Centre, Newport, Wales, UK. Claiming to have suffered bruising and soreness to her knees and muscle spasms between her ribs after the incident, she will sue Newport Council for compensation.
It is announced that a recently-discovered species of velvet spider has been named Loureedia in honour of rock musician Lou Reed, whose influential 60s band was called The Velvet Underground.
The world's first playable beer bottle is unveiled at The Semi-Permanent Gathering in Auckland, New Zealand, Oceania. Named the Beck's Edison Bottle, it is a one-off product based on Thomas Edison's cylinder recording system. The music etched into the bottle is Here She Comes by New Zealand band Ghostwave.
Taylor Swift makes a surprise cameo appearance on NBC-tv's Saturday Night Live, during Seth Rogen's show-opening monologue. "You're getting really upset," she tells him, "And whenever a man shows emotion, I appear!"
After having received threats of picketing from extremist homophobic religious group The Westboro Baptist Church, Panic! At The Disco play at Crossroads KC, Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Turning the situation to their advantage, the band decides to donate $20 to The Human Rights Campaign for every WBC member who turns up at the show. When only 13 picketers turn up, the band decides instead to donate $1000 to the Campaign.
On the first night of U2's Innocence And Experience tour, guitarist The Edge mis-judges location of, er, the edge of the stage in Rogers Arena, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, and tumbles into the pit. He escapes with only minor injuries to his arm.
In a bid to get The Foo Fighters to play in their town, 1000 fans in Cessna, Italy, Europe, perform Learn To Fly live, en masse.
The biographical book Seasick Steve - Ramblin' Man by Matthew Wright, is published by John Blake Publishing in the UK. The book focusses in considerable detail on the fact that 'authentic bluesman' Steve's perceived public identity is largely a sham, fancifully invented by Steve. Ten years younger than he claimed to be in media interviews, he was never an itinerant hobo bluesman. In reality, among other things, he played in a San Francisco-based hippy band, Shanti, and also in a disco combo called Crystal Glass. His 'real' name was not, as he said, Steven Gene Wold but Steve Leach.
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