It is revealed that
Interim surveys by Chiltern District Council of a barn owned by
Ozzy Osbourne at Stone Dean Farm near Chalfont St Giles, UK, have revealed considerable evidence of the presence of soprano pipistrelles and "possibly brown long-eared" bats. As these creatures are protected species under British Nature conservation laws, Osbourne is instructed to protect their habitat, which he had been planning to convert into a two-bedroomed house. Osbourne, according to rock legend, once bit the head off a bat during a live show, so suggestions that the bats are finally exacting their revenge soon begin to circulate.